Kingdom of Jarate
by OmegaTexnos
Summary: Shenanigans that happened during Sniper's quest to get Bonk Atomic Punch and Sandvich, along with the bloody aftermath. Contains quite a lot in-game references.


Kingdom of Jarate

We had one of these days where we felt really hungry and thirsty. That happened one day when Sniper was feeling up to a fizzy can of soda.

"Scout."

"Yeah?"

"Gimme dat bloody cola."

"No!"

Scout finally agrees to give to Sniper after he traded him a piece of scrap metal. In which Scout could use to get two cans of different cola, because when you drink one, it only took about several seconds for it to fill up. That cola in particular which Sniper got was the Bonk Atomic Punch.

Sniper pulled out the cola lid and took a drink; it made him real high to the point he couldn't feel any pain while walking to a stray BLU sentry gun. Though, after few seconds had passed—Sniper was shot dead.

This peculiar place where all shenanigans happened was 2fort. After he's dead, the map changed to Sawmill. He kinda did go afk and talked to the admin about that stray BLU sentry gun.

The admin said, "It was a server plugin." in which made Sniper argue with him for quite a while until the admin decides to mute Sniper. After quite a while observing the roster through spectator mode, a number of people had joined. RED and BLU were dancing along until they reached RED base.

Engineers building teleporter and dispensers near the saw, so the people who took their teleporter would die from the saw. Soldiers doing suicide taunt in the spawn, and quite a number of Hoovies tossing sandvich around each other on that ramp near RED base. Not to mention, people intentionally killing themselves repeatedly by walking or jumping to the saw. Well, nobody was actually trying to achieve the objective. It was just a friendly server.

Sniper observed a Gibus Engineer trying to build teleporters to the sawmill, and get his teleporter repeatedly destroyed by Gibus Force-a-nature Scouts, not to mention get killed even if he didn't actually fight back. The admin thought it was quite amusing, but when the Scout started attacking the players with hats, he insta-kicked him.

Amidst the rave of dancing and taunts, Sniper's focus shifted back to the Hoovies and their tasty meal. As the only player slot available was on RED, he joined RED. As he exited the spawn, he found BLU soldiers repeatedly shooting him with Rocket Jumper, which dealt no damage at all. That, and those who wanted to smack him with a shovel from above.

Since that annoyed him a bit, he entered the spawn and exited back to the upper ramp, in which hoovies crouched by, facing one another. In that place, the BLU Soldiers left them alone. Since they finally knew the Sniper ain't up for some fighting game, they also left him alone.

He wanted the Sandvich from the Hoovies, but they declined.

Sniper finally got his Sandvich after he offered the Hoovies one of his Jarate. Which in short, his jar of piss. Two of his piss could become a scrap metal. Finished with his business, he left the server and went back to his home—the camper van. He drunk so much Bonk and ate too much Sandvich, the next morning, when he tried to piss in his jar, it became so huge like a skyscraper.

The sight itself, an enormous Jarate as tall as an office building, it made Sniper dropped his jaw and made him ready his backpack and his trusty kukri for whacking bushes—the bushwacka. He also readied his bow, in which always seem to hit when he thought it would never hit, vice-versa. He knew something was coming, since there was a double-door on the bottom of this Jarate tower.

The moment he opened the door, there was a message saying 'map change to prophunt_jaratekingdom'. He got teleported into a place where everyone was Jarate, hiding in a pile of Jarate. In the meantime, Sniper's bow changed to a flamethrower.

He was given instructions to clear out all of the enemy Jarate by himself with the little amount of time he had left, before he could finally return safely. He searched far and wide in this utterly confusing map, and he nearly gave up for being repeatedly bullied like Saxton Hale in this game of cat and mouse. Until he randomly sprayed fire and hit a random Jarate.

Not long after, he was banned for racism.

The experience was so horrible, Sniper swore, not to ever drink Bonk and eat Sandviches again—except in Randomizer mode, where you can never guess what kind of weapons you're going to get.


End file.
